Send Receive

“What the hell!!”……. was lying on my bed on a Saturday morning..
‘Who is banging on the door on a Saturday morning’, I mused..
I stood up… rubbing my eyes… walked up to the door and opened it…
“Hello”
I looked down… and saw a short old lady standing at my door smiling at me…
I tried my best to respond in a same tone… “Hii”… with a forced smile…
“Son, I stay in the apartment right above yours. I wanted to discuss with you something…”… I guess I heard this only … was too sleepy to pay attention…
Still… I replied, “ok…”
“Can I come inside…?”, she asked
“Yep… sure…”, I led her to the drawing room which was obviously – messed up (being a bachelor’s apartment).
She looked at the sofa… bent a bit… held the side of the sofa… other hand on the seat… her legs and arms trembling… and she finally bent further and sat down..
Well… that for sure opened my eyes…
“Son, I am sorry if I am bothering you at this time of the day.”, she smiled.
“No problems aunty. Please tell me”, I said
“Son, I came to know from neighbors that you work in some computer related stuff. I was having a problem in sending an e-mail. I am new to this. I have never worked in this thing. So I thought, if you can help me”, said the old woman smiling…

‘What is it?. The production support which I do in my company was already on my nerves. And now this lady comes at this time of the day and asks to repair her computer. Sending a Mail!!!!!!...’, I mused
“Sure”… ‘I don’t have an option’… latter half was not audible... I hope…
I went back to bedroom… pulled my towel underneath the pile of clothes… cursing my fate… went to bathroom… washed my face… came out… and what I see…
Her smiling face…!!!
“Lets go aunty”, I said…
The alley outside my apartment was not broad enough… and her baby steps assured that I walk the snail’s speed till I get bored to death…
“It is such a beautiful morning… Sun’s out… cool breeze… perfect time to go and do some jogging… … …”, she went on… every statement of hers was followed by ‘yaa’ from my side…

Anyway… we reached…
I entered…
It was silent…
… I heard something… I guess it was my heartbeat…
I heard her breathing…
She looked at my feet and said “You can take out your slippers over there…”
‘Hmm… cleanliness freak!!’
I took out my slippers… went inside.
It was one of the most beautiful drawing rooms I have ever seen.
“Nobody at home?”, I asked her

“I live alone, son”, smiled the old woman.
‘Alone, it was so difficult for me to believe that. This old lady who even found it difficult to sit on a sofa… had such a beautiful drawing room.’
“There it is, my headache”, she pointed towards the laptop on the desk.
‘Coool….. log in… send a mail for her… and run back to bed…’
I switched on the laptop… asked her the login id and pass and opened the outlook…
“Well … my son bought me this laptop. He is such a sweet boy…”, she smiled
I smiled back… concentrating on the screen.
“He came … gave me the laptop… connected everything for me… the internet… I don’t know what it does… how it helps… but he told me using internet I can see the world… he taught me how to send the mail… how to receive it… how to make an email… how to start the computer… how to shut the computer down…”…. Second round…!! she went on and on…
I smiled back…

“So what is the problem, aunty”, I said pointing towards outlook.
She looked at the screen. Her eyes almost closed with the radiations from the pc.
“I … I used to send mail…”….
“I don’t know where I can find the mail which I sent….”, she said
“In the Sent mails probably…”, I replied…
“Ahhh… Where’s that…??”, she asked…
I took the mouse from her… “Give it to me aunty!!”
I went to Sent Items and showed her the sent mails.
“Aunty, are these the ones you sent?”, I asked
She touched the screen…. clapped her hands in jubilation… “ohh yesss... wonderful…. here they are…!!!.... they got stuck here… that’s why they did not reach him” , she smiled as a child.
I was confused but I guess I understood her ignorance.
“Aunty, If you see the mails in this folder which is ‘Sent Items’, this means… that the mails have been sent.”, I said.
“Ohh… You mean… the mails are already sent to him!!”, she asked
I saw the screen. Saw the name to which the mail was sent.
“Ya… Aunty. The mail has been sent to Ashwin Tyagi”…”Who is he?”, I asked.

“He is my sweeet son… I call him Ashu”, she smiled.
“Hmm…”
“Aunty, Why did you think that the mail was not sent?”, I asked.
“Son, Ashu told me that if we click on the receive button, we receive emails. So I used to send a mail. Then I used to click on Receive. And I used to find no e-mail. I again used to send one. I clicked on receive. I found no e-mail. I have been doing this past 5 months. I guess you are mistaken. There is surely some problem”, she said.
My heart skipped a beat.
5 months!!
I opened the Sent Items again.
My sleepy eyes missed the long list of e-mails sent to Ashwin when I saw it the first time.

‘Beta Ashu…. How are you… ? I hope you are fine. I am missing you so much. Come home some time.’
‘Beta Ashu… did you get my previous mail? I did not get your reply…’
‘Beta Ashu… I understand you will be busy with your work… don’t worry… reply whenever you are free’
‘Beta Ashu… I thought I will mail you… I am doing good… I have made kheer for you. Do come’
‘Beta Ashu… yesterday I had some pain in my neck… now it is fine… I applied jhandu balm.’
……….
List was endless…
And painful
Was it the radiation from pc or was it something else in my eyes…!!
Last email with the same ID was –
‘This is the test mail’
Swallowing what I saw, “Aunty”, opening the last mail, “Who sent this mail?”
“Ohh… this mail was sent by Ashu only to show me how to send the mail”, smiled the old woman.
I did not know how to react… when she spoke
“I know there is some problem with the computer. I am sure. He called me a month back. He was in a meeting. So I could not ask him”
“He works for a big company…. Earns a lot now. I am so proud of him”, she smiled.
I did not want to. But I did say – “You should be aunty…”
“Yess…”, she said with her charismatic smile … “He is such a grown up now… so responsible… he is married to a beautiful girl who used to be his classmate. Now he has one boy and one girl…”, she smiled and said like a child…
“Both used to work out of town, so they shifted over there 3 years back. He used to call me earlier, but then he got busy… so we could not talk much. My ears started giving me some problem and I was not able to listen to him on phone, so he gave me this laptop.”, she said.
I was still… I was listening to her… and was watching her smile which was excited by the thought of her son.
“So, can you fix this son?”, she asked
I did not want to say that it is working fine.
I didn’t have an answer better than this - “Aunty, I guess, the send button is working fine but the receive button is not working. So Ashu is getting your mail but he does not know that you are not getting his mail. But I don’t know how to fix it.”
“ohh…”, she looked a bit sad.
I was silent.
All I could do.
“…. Can you do me one more favour?”, she asked
“Sure aunty… sure”, I said. If I could do anything today for her!!
“It is very irritating for me to type. Hitting those buttons! It takes me ages to find the characters. If Send thing is working, I want to send one last mail to my son. Can you type one last mail for me?”, she smiled.
I had no option. Yet again. But this time I guess I wanted to do it. I wanted to relieve her from this expectation of receiving a mail.

“Sure aunty, tell me what should I type”, I opened a new mail.
“Type…” “Beta Ashu… This is my neighbour typing from my pc…”
“There seemed to be some problem in sending mails. So I called him to help me.”
“He also works for a big company like you.”
“He found the problem but he does not know how to fix it.”
“The problem is that send button is working fine… but the receive button is not working. Hence, I am not able to receive your mails when I click on the receive button.”
“Beta, it has been 5 months. Please come and meet me. I am missing you so much.”
“I do not want this laptop. I do not want to see the world in internet.”
“I want to see you.”
“Come home.”
“Your mother…”

I typed the last words… I gasped and turned towards her…
I guess I saw tears in her eyes … with the same smile…She wiped her eyes… smiled “Yess….please send the mail”
I clicked on send.
She stood up, turned around and went to the bedroom.
I guess I heard her crying. I felt lonely… She came. Hurried towards the kitchen.
“Do you love kheer??”, she asked.
I smiled… with the tears which just didn’t go “Yes aunty…”
From the refrigerator she took out the bowl and gave it to me.
“Have this. I made it with my own hands…”, she smiled.
I took the bowl from her. And I saw my hands were trembling.
“Thanks Aunty… Thanks a lot”, I said.
“Thank you Beta. I am so sorry… that I disturbed you this morning”, she said.
A ‘tear-let’ fell from my eyes. But I guess I did well in hiding it.
“No Aunty… Please don’t say so… do let me know whenever you need me”, I said.
“Thanks beta”, she said.
I put on my slippers. Went outside. “Bye Aunty”, I said.
“Bye Beta”, I saw the last look on her face which saw the loneliness that was going to come.
She closed the door.
I stopped at the stairs.
I cried for the lady who “sent” her love many a times… but did not “receive” anything in return…
I really must say there will be many moms who must be having the same situation as mentioned above.
Lets not forget the person who loves us more than we love ourselves …

THE WEDDING CHRONICLES – THE DAWN OR DUSK?

They say persuasion can change the strongest of decisions. And when that persuasion comes from your mother, there is nothing you can say or do. I had to give in to my mother’s persuasion and unveil the person I wanted to spend my life with. It went exactly the same way I had anticipated it. A lot of yelling followed by a whole lot of sarcastic comments for the next few days.
Every small point of discussion which would involve me trying to convince my mother would eventually end at one line “I don’t know how I can trust you now. Only you know what all you have been hiding!” And I would think, “What! What has taking the car out for the weekend outing go to do with trust!?”
But that is how the atmosphere would be for the next few days.

All this time, I had been wondering how things would unfold the day I break the news to my family, the day I agree to marry, the wedding day. But now that reality took over, unfortunately, everything happened the same way I had expected it to be. I had a scary but memorable wedding and after all the hoopla, I was married and started a new life.
I always imagined how it would be to have another unfortunate soul enter my life. And the kind of life I have led, it would need a herculean effort from that person just to hang on for dear life.
I was under the impression that once the wedding is done, once I am not single anymore, things wouldn’t be that different. All that would change is that I would have another person around me who would be interested in everything I do, who would be a part of my daily agenda.
I couldn’t be more wrong; I had underestimated the changes in my life to such an extent that it was me, not her, who was hanging on by the scruff of the neck, each and every day.

I was all set, mentally and physically to start a new life; to have one more women scrutinize my life every day. I thought if I can handle one person keeping a tab on me, I can surely handle one more. Besides, the person I married is a calm and sober person. Things should be easy.
The first few days were pleasant. I had devoted all my time to my wife and things were moving ever so smoothly. I thought.. “Aah… piece of cake”
After this, so called break from reality, I had to rejoin work after a few days. That day, I woke up, did my daily activities, said goodbye to my mother and was off to work. On my way, I thought, did I forget something?
I put a little pressure on my not so able brain and realized “Holy mother of God, my wife!! She was supposed to rejoin with me and I had forgotten to even tell her that I was leaving!!! I am so dead”
I rushed back home and there she was; hands on her hips, waiting to pounce on me like a predator pounces on a helpless prey. But to my surprise, all she did was look at me, and turn away. I knew that this could not end so easily. It had to be the silence before the storm. And what a storm it was.

I always thought that my mother was the undisputed champion at sarcastic one liner, but I just married a strong contender for that title. The sarcastic comments thrown at me that day were so complex that it took me minutes to figure out what the taunt was all about! It was like the questions in your SAT exams, the answers were right there but you still didn’t know what the hell the question meant!
For the next few days, I had to keep a reminder in my phone to remind me not to do such a life threatening mistake again. Once that was sorted out, things went back to normal.

There are some things that were beyond my control. People used to advice me to balance my time between my parents and my wife and I thought it shouldn’t be difficult. There would be days when neither my mother nor my wife would talk to me when I returned from work and I was left wondering what in god’s name did I do now?
When I asked my mother what happened, all I would get is a cold look. And my wife would give me an even colder look. And being the guy I am, I wanted to tell them “I am not even going to ask you guys what happened, ‘cause I don’t care”. I couldn’t say this loud ‘cause that would spark off a war bigger than the cold war already going on.
At the dinner table, you could cut the tension with a knife. So I tried to cool things down a little by making a fake office story, just to divert their attention.
“You know, today my manager said…. Blah blah blah and and I fought with him” I said
All I got was “Hmmm”
Then I said “You know today I went to the balcony of my office and jumped off 10 floors only to land on my feet”. And again all I got is “Hmmmmm”.
That’s when I realized that they weren’t listening and all they wanted me to say is two words - “What happened”. Being the fool I am to flirt with disaster, I said those very two words.
What I got in return was a 1000 page detailed report of the entire situation, one from my mother and one from my wife. Unfortunately for me, God did not like me either ‘cause both of those were completely contradictory. And I was the judge of the last hearing of a criminal at death row.
All I said was “The court is adjourned for the day. Next hearing will be tomorrow morning”
In the night I opted for a dubious plan. I told my mother “Mom, I don’t care what happened. I will see to it that I teach her a lesson for messing with you. I don’t want to talk to her” and I said the same to my wife. Remarkably, my mom and my wife said “Hey its ok. Leave it. It was actually my fault. Ignore it”
And the issue was settled. I know this sounds twisted and wrong but that solved the issue and I was ok with that.
I tried this solution a few more times, changing the line I used of course but the content was the same. It worked the first few times but then they were too smart to fall for it all the time.
Soon I learned to live with that. And pretty soon both of them got along so well that they were inseparable. That day I treated all my friends to a royal dinner.

Life went on really smoothly until one day…. I heard the news…..” you are going to be a father”
At first I was overwhelmed with tension and apprehensions. How could I be responsible for one more life!! If my kid turns out to be half as bad as me, I am dead.
But everything changed the day I held the baby in my hand; it’s a feeling like no other.

My son grew and so did I; both in our own ways. I wanted to make sure that he didn’t turn out to be anything like me else my family would royally kill me.
My son would ask me weird questions that I couldn’t dare to answer; like “Dad, so many times I have seen you and mom fight like gladiators but the next morning you two behave like nothing even happened!”
I would be speechless for a minute and then I would say “Go ask your mother this question. And when you get an answer, tell me too!”
I would see my son do all kind of stuffs as he grows that probably I did too but still I couldn’t digest it.
As I grew old I pondered about my life, reflecting how I spent it and I realized, all my apprehensions about marriage was just natural. What followed after those were a few pleasant dreams intertwined with a million never-ending nightmares that grew to be a part of my life, my married life.